Fall Inventory 2016
The light changes in September, takes on an edge and a hue that sets my nerves on fire; it’s always the beginning of darkness, reflection, and a certain amount of struggle. This year it’s a little different…life’s a little different because I’ve stopped fighting as much.
Let me assure my few readers that I am OK. This is a process
locked, bound, and not breathing…
Being Bipolar, depressed, having anxiety, agoraphobia, etc…it’s being shut in. It’s being bound up and blinded. It’s panic and terror. It’s wanting to die, quickly (or slowly). It’s craving pain, because that’s an outlet and something to take your mind away from what you’re feeling at the time.
“…some considered me an embarrassment to the sport and wanted me to just go away.”
We make wheelchair ramps, we strive to fight cancer, we pass laws to fight behaviors leading to diabetes. Mental Illness? Hell no, put those people away; let’s not even talk to them.
Love us one minute, ignore or hate us the next…we live with enough darkness. The constant rejection just feeds the illness; it adds to our suicide rates (and that’s when friends and support seem to come out of nowhere…after we’re dead? We needed you before that!)
Pain is an erosion. It’s a corrosion of will.
DO something! This cycle must end before it ends you…