It’s like getting defiled…with sticks. I forgot how much being a wedded man (oh yeah, I did that too while I was gone) changes your standing with the IRS.

“You’re married? Well shit! You probably need some of this back then!!”

Kinda like your dad handing you two dollar bills (all sweaty, wrinkled, and smelling of scrotum) and swatting your ass on the way to the Prom.

“Have fun kids! Don’t you spend that all in one place. Oh, and remember to think of baseball!”

Meanwhile, your grandmother stalks up, cops a feel and rolls away with a cackle while yelling at someone to get her some eggs.

eggs

Taxes.

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